Dorm Room Revisited

I saw a commercial for Ross department stores last week that detailed the complications and price of furnishing a dorm room. The girl bragged that she only spent $500 and the result was a disgusting pink and neon green room that would banish you to a major in Young Adult Contemporary Literature or Mathematics.

So I decided to take a trip down memory lane and detail what I bought for my first dorm room:

- Abalone Shell as an ashtray - $4 from head shop


- Psychedelic Poster - $5 from head shop

- Tapestry for bed - $10 from summer music festival


- Used Mini Fridge - $20 from some Sophomore Student

- Outdoor carpeting (for inside) - $12 from Home Depot (they don't make these hideous acrylic rugs any more - I think they were a fire hazard)

So in total I I spent $51 on my first dorm room... with plenty of enough money to spend on... well.. use your imagination.

Homage to My Pops

So I don't want to brag or nothing but I have a pretty cool pops. Legend has it that he was a semi-pro skateboarder in the 70's and started a skateboard company that sold longboards to Santa Cruz (Z -boys eat your heart out). If you know me, you know I talk about him constantly because I am stoked to have a bad ass for a dad. Here is a video I took of him while we were in Utah, as my mom so aptly puts it "what an old cruiser". By the way, he is riding one of his "Old Skool" custom boards (website to come)....

Something to Do

On the delightful Jeff Bridges website he posted this:


Ever since, I have felt at odds with my appendages and now have firm evidence that 6 is the work of the devil. And perhaps, the devil lives in my right leg, no wonder my knee has been bothering me.

Our Subtle Garden

Pretty obvious why they are called Morning Glory:

6:15 AM - Open


6:15 PM - Closed

July 4th - Spillage

Given the recent USA Miss Universe fumble, as documented on Today's Special, I thought I would share an equally patriotic spill that Ben and I witnessed when we were in Utah at the Oakley Rodeo.


The flag bearer at the rodeo was this wonderful and innocent young girl. She was so excited and nervous to be presenting the flag during the Star Spangled Banner, which in the rodeo world is akin to throwing out the first pitch. As the picture illustrates, she wielded the flag while galloping her pony around the arena while someone crooned out the national anthem.

By her second lap around the arena she was going so fast, I am surprised the rodeo clown didn't get pulled in by her centripetal force and she took a digger right in front of the rodeo queens (and no, that was not derogatory - that is what they are actually called). The crowd took a collective gasp right in the middle of "and the rockets red glare" (talk about timing) and by the time we got to "that our flag was still there", she was brushing herself off and getting back on that dam saddle to finish out the song.

Now I am not a big fan of the National Anthem and its obligatory nature... but this time I got all choked up. This poor little girl ate shit in front of thousands and still had the gumption to get back on that horse and maintain the dramatic effect and timing of the song. Francis Scott Key would be proud!

Ben on the other hand thought it was unpatriotic to drag the stars and stripes through horse and bull shit whilst finishing the climax of the anthem. Which is true, but let's face it, the stars and stripes will always be tainted with a load of bullshit. Happy Birthday USA!

Cat Condo - Anyone

Odd things come out of the house two doors down from us, usually on Thursdays... trash days. No one seems to live there anymore, and yet more and more crap trickles out of the pink craftsman home. So yesterday when we saw this all became clear.















The house was being rented by a family of cats! They have been keeping the place relatively clean and rodent free... running an internet site scam called pussygalore.com, charging registration fees for their live video web casts of their persistent purring, scratching and napping. The whole ploy was simply an exercise in porn marketing nomenclature but when FCC caught wind that they had no age restriction policy on their site and that a plethora of young Hello Kitty fans were logging on... they had no choice but to raid the joint. The poor felines, unable to defend themselves or explain their entrepreneurial behavior, were slapped with a huge fine. Soon they were not able to pay their bills and fell on hard times and yesterday they were officially evicted from the home.

It's just sad.

Puppy le Pew

So yesterday I saw this in the yard...


Our resident nemesis to our resident pet... senor skunk. The skunk has not really been around lately... I think PJ had finally claimed his stake in the yard. But since we were away for the week, the skunk decided to re-visit... and re-visit he did.

At 6:55PM PST PJ ran from the kitchen through the dog door (an A level move not usually attempted by our clumsy mutt) ... and moments later our little monkey was crying. Within seconds I knew the skunk had sought his revenge. I swiftly put peej in the front yard while the skunk lingered in the side yard hissing his stanky ass fluffy tail in our direction. We pounded wooden spoons on the sliding glass door until we scared the black and white rodent to our neighbors yard. As a child, I remember that our dogs would frequently get sprayed by skunks and we would immediately protect our stuffed animals, leaving my parents to bath the dog in tomato juice and potpourri. As a teenager, the scent of a skunk reminded me of dank weed (and to be honest still does) but as an adult I know realize that the scent of a skunk is poignant nastiness... even standing 10 feet away it made my eyes water!

Poor PJ got sprayed at close range in the right eye and mouth... we let him roll around in the grass (suffer) while we consulted the internet for some totally unqualified advice... during which I said to Ben... "Your on the wrong website... they don't know what they are talking about, look at the layout of their page"... yes, this is how we qualify sound advise; font choice and layout.

So what was the answer you ask... White Vinegar, we dosed the poor fuzzy monkey in about a gallon of the ph balanced stuff and then we decided to take the advice of some internet sites and use a combination of baking soda and vinegar (aka the quintessential elementary school science fair project). After we lathered the lava like substance into our little guy... we took a walk around the block to try to neutralize the incredible stench from the unassuming rodent. During the walk, one of our neighbors calls for our dog so he can give him a little pet, I tell him about the skunk and recommend that perhaps he should reconsider his petting offer... he says, "I can't smell the skunk, all I smell is vinegar" at which point, Ben and I breathe in the sweet smell of success.

Hot Dog

On the second night of our journey we decided to camp in Escalante, Utah. I am a big fan of southern Utah but have never been to Escalante before, so we headed up from Mesquite thru Zion...

Thru Bryce Canyon...



And finally to Escalante and our campsite at Calf Creek Canyon...

Where our Prius drove through this...


And we went on a hike where we were supposed to see this...


But instead we saw this...


So instead of seeing this...

We had to do this...

Bingo was his name-o

Ben and I went on a wonderful vacation last week. The next series of posts will be about said vacation. We broke it up in parts driving from LA to Park City with various stops in between.

Our first stop was Mesquite, Nevada... now I don't know how many of y'all have been to this little gem of a gambling town but most people drive right on by or don't make it past Vegas and for those that have been there, let's face, typically don't admit it... but I am not ashamed. We got a room for $40 (that allowed pets) at the Virgin River, that had a swamp cooler in the window, penny slots, a pool, a shooting range and Bingo (of course).

We arrived at about 3:00PM and decided to go right to the pool. I was really in the mood for some poolside cocktails and some mean desert sun but to my chagrin, only got the sun. The only cocktails to be had were the BYO kind, but we still managed to have a really pleasant afternoon, roasting in shade of a tree with the scent of chlorine in the background. It was oddly pleasant, no commerce, no lines, no noise.... just us the sun and a cement puddle... Marlboro Miles can't buy that type of bliss.

We then went into the casino where I decided to put some money down on the Roulette table. I choose our anniversary numbers (6 & 30) and wouldn't ya know it the dam thing landed on 6... shazam! One hundred and seventy five large ones... free of charge, no strings attached... which was then quickly lost at the blackjack table with just enough money left over to play a 7:00PM session of BINGO.

So now to the crux of the story.... BINGO is not an easy game. Before we even attempted to play with the big dogs ( or silver seniors or old people - whatever you want to call them) we had to get a 10 minute tutorial from the cashier. There are a bunch of buy ins and options and different colored cards and sheets and different games for each card. The whole process is exhausting and worthy of some sort of diploma upon completion. At any rate, we choose the card that had 9 games simultaneously, as it looked easy enough. The veteran players where sitting at there regular spots, some had various different daubber in varying shades of purple & pink (we even overheard one lady giving the heritage of here dauber line-up - "yeah I got this one in 67 for Valetines Day in Laughlin and this one here in was from Father's Day in 87 at Harrah's"). Some people adopted the electronic cards... called Travelers, I think they may give these away for free with the purchase of a land yacht, but they were the gamblers version of an animated etch-a-sketch, except easier and smoker friendly.

As we sat down... we had such high hopes, we really thought that this would be a relaxing way to spend an hour or so... but boy were we wrong. Holy Crap! I don't know how these seniors do it. The woman was calling out numbers so fast, we could barely check off one sheet before she was calling out another number. Ben and I were breaking a sweat, running our dobber over the sheets, trying to check our work... we barely had enough time to sip our beer or chat about the funny hairdo's in the room. By round 6 (I think there are 10) Ben looked at me and said... "This is not fun... make her stop". I told him "shhh, what number did she just say, B5?"

In the end, we didn't win anything... but this may have been attributed to human error, as we ended up missing a lot of numbers. However, we did gain a deep appreciation of those senior's ability to find and hunt down numbers and that is one thing that cannot be gambled away.